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Conjugal Rights : Do Men Have Rights In Singapore?

Conjugal Rights : Do Singapore Men have Rights?

• In 2003, our Family Court granted a divorce to a husband on the ground that his marriage had broken down because his wife had acted unreasonably by refusing to have sex with him.

• In 2005, three wives aired their separate tales of their husband's infidelity in letters to the Straits Times in Singapore. All three wondered in print whether they had neglected their husbands in bed and whether their neglect led their husbands to stray. They were quickly answered by feminists who decried the idea that women should be blamed for men's infidelity.

• Three years ago, a husband in India set his wife on fire because his wife refused to have sex with him. The newspaper hinted that the husband's mother approved of the punishment.

• This year, Afghanistan made it to our headlines for imposing a law (Article 132) that gave husbands the right to sex every fourth night and allowed husbands to strave their less sexually co-operative wives.

• And just two months ago, Singaporeans are grappling with the question whether the law should punish rape between husband and wives. No one seems to ask these questions : why did wives marry their husbands if they were not willing sex partners in the first place?

There seems to be a crisis looming in the matrimonial bedroom. Why are wives everywhere turning away from sex? The science did not seem very difficult to understand :

(a)    a 2002 British Broadcasting Corporation report showed that UK scientists concluded that some women had no Skene glands and low levels of a protein called PDE5 and concluded that such women were incapable of achieving orgasm;

(b)    a 2005 Straits Times report showed that KK Hopsital survey found that one in four women experienced pain during sex;

(c)a 2005 professor from the London St Thomas Hospital surveyed 4,000 odd twins and concluded that more than 20% of women were  born without the ability to experience orgasm; and

(d)    in 2009, the Straits Times reported that scientists have indentified a chemical (oxytoxin) that promoted female bonding (eg. during female gossip), and another (vasopressin) that promoted male attachment to his female partner during orgasm.

It's in the genes. Some women don't get it!

No wonder that there are cheeky anecdotal reports every now and then that women preferred shopping (or chocolate ) to sex. Or preferred to watch Sex and the City late at night rather than to cosy up with the real McCoy. And we are not talking about a one to one exchange for one night of sex. The Straits Times reported in 2007 that a New York survey found that most women would give up 15 months of sex for a new wardrobe of clothes!  We did not need a University researcher to tell us that many women did not enjoy sex all that much. The London University report merely gave us a number to pin on the anecdotes – that number is mind boggling : one in five women! That's right, one in five women in your work place, or on your dinner table... just don't get it.

Given that monogamy laws apply in the UK and US, that meant that one in five men were married to women who were incapable of achieving orgasm. The quintessential bedroom joke is the wife who mumbles apologetically, “Honey, I'm having a headache.” Yes! A headache for wives to think up excuses to avoid conjugal relations. A headache for their husbands to run the heart wrenching gamut from : “Am I not doing it right?” to “Is she seeing someone else?” to “Maybe I should be meeting more women”.

In centuries past, religion persuaded housewives to submit to their husband's desires. But such persuasions do not cut it anymore for modern women corporate raiders. Women now want fulfillment. And yes – that new wardrobe. Sex with husbands rank very low down on their list of priorities. Women are not keeping their side of the religious bargain anymore. Can monogamy laws still survive in the face of such changes in women's values.

The Women's Charter was enacted in 1961 to protect women. It recognised the importance of sex within a marriage by rendering voidable a marriage that was not consummated by sex. Yet it imposed no duty on spouses to have sex with each other. It appeared that a spouse needed only to have sex once for the  monogamy provision to kick in. Thereafter, if the wife refused to have sex with her husband, she might be acting unreasonably. But if consequent upon her refusal, the husband had sex with another woman, he would be committing adultery! The Marital Bed had morphed into a Monastic Prison.

In the last decade or so, there are only two reported cases where the Singapore Court granted divorce on the ground that the wife was unreasonable in refusing to have sex with her husband. In contrast, there are countless divorces granted to wives on the ground that the husband committed adultery. Yet, if the scientists are right, if one out of four to five women were incapable of orgasm, many of those adulterous husbands must have had wives who declined to have sex. Should the law make it so easy for wives who failed to keep their side of the marriage bargain to divorce their husbands? The law recognises constructive desertion (to wives who deserted their husbands because they claimed to have been driven out by their husbands). Husbands are not allowed to rely on desertion to file for divorce if they are guilty of constructive desertion. Similarly, the law should recognise constructive adultery (to husbands driven to adultery by wives who refused them sex). Wives should not be allowed to file for divorce based on adultery if they are guilty of constructive adultery.

The Women's Charter was affirmative action from a past century when women were largely uneducated and economically dependent upon their husbands. Fast forward half a century and today's women are well educated (there are more women undergraduates than men) and financially independent (making slow and steady progress on the corporate ladder and government leadership positions). By clinging on to this legislation, the Women's Charter is facilitating the break up of marriages. According to the Department of Statistics, approx. 65% of divorce were initiated by women. It goes against the grain of Singapore's pro-family policies for the Women's Charter to facilitate such easy divorces.

What Singapore needs is a Family Charter : one that sets out the duties of not just husbands, but the duties of wives, one that balances the interests of both husbands and wives, one that persuades more women that the feminists were wrong : women can be blamed for failing to keep their side of the marriage bargain. Families may stay intact longer if wives were more realistic and more forgiving – like the wife in Sex Lies and VideoTape : a short story about a woman who was astounded to discover that her well regarded and well beloved father was unfaithfuly. If her father could be a good family man despite being unfaithful, perhaps, her husband could be one too.

Jonathan Lee

About the Author

 The author is a lawyer practising at http://www.malkin-maxwell.com

 

The lions were man enough to fire millen. the raiders were chicken enough to fire kiffin. agree or disagree?

Your Open QuestionShow me another »

who was really to blame, which act pleased the fan base more, and which move will have more impact on their respective team this season and next?

I do agree with your assesment above. The only real person to blame for Millen was Millen himself. He had horrible drafts and did not go after any big name free agents. He has let that team die. Al Davis is singlehandedly responsible for the Kiffin situation. He lied to the media and pretty much fired him cause he was losing, even when people could tell things were turning around, plus the players openly said they wanted to play for him.

The Millen firing probably pleased the Detroit fans more because they had been calling for it for years, and Kiffin didnt have much time to change things drastically. The Millin firing will have the most impact because now someone who can do the job correctly can try to start turning things around there

Scarlet Raiders Men's Basketball Season Highlights

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Middle Tennessee State Blue Raiders The Executive Men's Watch $175.5 For a more formal look. The Executive features a fluted gold toned bezel and two tone gold overlay and stainless steel link bracelet. Now with Date Calendar feature. A great gift for any NCAA fan to show off their Middle Tennessee State Blue Raiders pride!

The Railroad Raiders $9.99 The Railroad Raiders - Masterprint

Raiders and Rebels: The Golden Age of Piracy $3.95 I he most authoritative history of piracy, Frank Sherry's rich and colorful account reveals the rise and fall of the real "raiders and rebels" who terrorized the seas. From 1692 to 1725 pirates sailed the oceans of the world, plundering ships laden with the riches of India, Africa, South America, and the Caribbean. Often portrayed as larger-than-life characters, these outlaw figures and their bloodthirsty exploits have long been immortalized in fiction and film. But beneath the legends is the true story of these brigands--often common men and women escaping the social and economic restrictions of 18th-century Europe and America. Their activities threatened the beginnings of world trade and jeopardized the security of empires. And together, the author argues, they fashioned a surprisingly democratic society powerful enough to defy the world.

Winged Raiders of the Desert $3.95 Under the control of the Dark Lord, the Winged Ones capture the Sleepers and try to force them to join air raids of the Desert People. The Sleepers' only hope: to free these flying men from the Dark Lord's evil power.

Texas Tech Red Raiders Executive AnoChrome Men's Watch $154.1 The ultimate NCAA Texas Tech Red Raiders fan's statement, our Executive timepiece offers men a classic, business-appropriate look. Features a 23KT gold-plated bezel, stainless steel case and date function. Secures to your wrist with a two-tone solid stainless steel band complete with safety clasp.The AnoChrome dial option increases the visual impact of any watch with a stunning radial reflection similar to that of the underside of a CD. Perceived value is increased with the AnoChrome's gem-like saturation of team color. Even the emblazoned school logo is enhanced by intertwining with AnoChome's intense luster. Just imagine a watch face this alluring surrounded by the superior quality of a timepiece.

Middle Tennessee State Blue Raiders Executive AnoChrome Men's Watch $154.1 The ultimate NCAA Middle Tennessee State Blue Raiders fan's statement, our Executive timepiece offers men a classic, business-appropriate look. Features a 23KT gold-plated bezel, stainless steel case and date function. Secures to your wrist with a two-tone solid stainless steel band complete with safety clasp.The AnoChrome dial option increases the visual impact of any watch with a stunning radial reflection similar to that of the underside of a CD. Perceived value is increased with the AnoChrome's gem-like saturation of team color. Even the emblazoned school logo is enhanced by intertwining with AnoChome's intense luster. Just imagine a watch face this alluring surrounded by the superior quality of a timepiece.

Game Time NFLRETOAK Oakland Raiders Mens Retro Watch $51.94 The all new Oakland Raiders Men s Retro Watch by Game Time is a retro styled square faced watch that features the full colored Arizona Diamondbacks logo on the dial. The watch has a genuine leather strap along with a stainless steel back. It is water resistant and comes a limited lifetime warranty. The Japan quartz movement will ensure the watch keeps accurate time. The Oakland Raiders Men s Retro Watch is the perfect watch for the Oakland Raiders fan looking for a watch with a leather band that features their favorite team s logo.

Oakland Raiders NFL Flip Flop Thong Slippers $13.99 Oakland Raiders NFL Flip Flop Thong Slippers Stay warm and cozy while watching the game at home in these stylish flip flop thong slippers from Forever Collectibles. Features embroidered team logo skid resistant hard sole and team colors. The Men's size chart is as follows: Small (7-8) Medium (9-10) Large (11-12) and X-Large (13-14). Made of machine washable polyester. Officially licensed.

Winged Raiders Of The Desert $6.99 "Danger and death await the Sleepers as they're once again called upon to one the plans of the Dark Lord! Evil Lord Necros desires to enlist new soldiers in his army, and he's chosen the People of the Desert. When they refuse, the Dark Lord makes an alliance with the Winged Ones-men who fly like birds. These men steal from the desert people. Even worse, they capture enslave them! The Sleepers seek peace from the Winged Ones, but as they set out to make a new alliance they themselves are captured and enslaved. Instead of giving them over to the Dark Lord, the Winged Ones offer them a chance to join their ranks, the learn to fly! But in so doing, the Sleepers must take a dangerous step of faith."

Mosier's Raiders: The Story of Lst-325 $20.94 The LST was a ship designed to perform a dirty and dangerous task, to land on an enemy-held beach and disgorge her load of tanks and men. LST stood for "Landing Ship, Tank," but to the sailors who served aboard these ungainly ships it also meant "Large Slow Target." The LST wasn't very pretty to look at, and it wasn't as glamorous as the powerful battleships and legendary aircraft carriers whose names have gone down in history. In fact, LSTs weren't given the honor of a name at all, they would only be known by their hull number. "Mosier's Raiders" is the story of one of these ships, the USS LST-325, a veteran of the invasions of Sicily, Salerno and Normandy. Drawn from extensive interviews with the men who served aboard her, "Mosier's Raiders" is not just the story of a ship; it is about a group of strangers coming together as a team, and the bond of brotherhood that carried them through the worst war had to offer.

Middle Tennessee State Blue Raiders Dynasty Men's Watch $85.45 Elegant design for the modern man who wants to show their NCAA team spirit! The dial is presented in a sleek, stainless steel case and bracelet that rests fashionably yet comfortably across the wrist. Features a convenient date display, quartz accurate movement and a scratch resistant mineral crystal face with Middle Tennessee State Blue Raiders logo.

Texas Tech Red Raiders Competitor Men's Watch by Suntime $74.55 The hottest sports watch on the market, the Competitor features the Texas Tech Red Raiders team logo boldly displayed on the dial along with a colorful rotating timer/bezel, quartz accurate movement and leather/nylon strap. The combined leather underneath and nylon on top makes the watch water resistant as well.Wear it to a game, while watching a game or just to show off your NCAA pride wherever you go!

Texas Tech Red Raiders Gameday Sport Men's Watch by Suntime $42.73 A true sports person's watch, the Sport features:a durable rotating timer/bezel stainless steel finishscratch resistant crystalquartz accurate movementcolor coordinated leather strapdate functionand a big, bold Texas Tech Red Raiders team logo on the dialWear it to a game, while watching a game or just to show off your NCAA pride wherever you go!

Wright State Raiders Competitor Men's Watch with Nylon / Leather Band $74.55 The hottest sports watch on the market, the Competitor features the Wright State Raiders team logo boldly displayed on the dial along with a colorful rotating timer/bezel, quartz accurate movement and leather/nylon strap. The combined leather underneath and nylon on top makes the watch water resistant as well.Wear it to a game, while watching a game or just to show off your NCAA pride wherever you go!

Middle Tennessee State Blue Raiders Competitor Men's Watch by Suntime $74.55 The hottest sports watch on the market, the Competitor features the Middle Tennessee State Blue Raiders team logo boldly displayed on the dial along with a colorful rotating timer/bezel, quartz accurate movement and leather/nylon strap. The combined leather underneath and nylon on top makes the watch water resistant as well.Wear it to a game, while watching a game or just to show off your NCAA pride wherever you go!

Middle Tennessee State Blue Raiders Gameday Sport Men's Watch by Suntime $42.73 A true sports person's watch, the Sport features:a durable rotating timer/bezel stainless steel finishscratch resistant crystalquartz accurate movementcolor coordinated leather strapdate functionand a big, bold Middle Tennessee State Blue Raiders team logo on the dialWear it to a game, while watching a game or just to show off your NCAA pride wherever you go!

Texas Tech Red Raiders NCAA Men's Hall of Fame Watch with Stainless Steel Bracelet $330 Enjoy this official NCAA licensed Texas Tech Red Raiders watch. The perfect gift for any Texas Tech Red Raiders fan! Men's size water resistant chronograph watch with datePolished solid stainless steel case with screw-down backHardened mineral crystal with non-reflective coatingPolished solid stainless steel bracelet with butterfly claspSunray silver dial with raised chiseled hour indexes and 3 sub-dialsMiyota® chrono movementSub-dial functions: second hand, 24 hour time, 60 minute timerLimited lifetime warranty on watch and battery

Texas Tech Red Raiders Competitor Two Tone Watch $91.67 The ultimate Texas Tech Red Raiders fan's statement, our Competitor Two-Tone timepiece offers men a classic, business-appropriate look. Features a 23kt gold-plated bezel, stainless steel case and date function. Secures to your wrist with a two-tone solid stainless steel band complete with safety clasp.

Game Time Watch and Wallet NFL (Men's) - Oakland Raiders $49.95 This gift set features a watch with a sunray dial with UP markers and a printed logo in center. It has a fully customized dial, a polyurethane strap with stainless steel buckle, an alloy case with stainless steel case back, quartz movement, a glass crystal, and is water restistant to 3 ATM. The set also features a genuine leather tri-fold wallet. Available Colors: Baltimore Ravens, Chicago Bears, Dallas Cowboys, Denver Broncos, Indianapolis Colts, Minnesota Vikings, New England Patriots, New Orleans Saints, New York Giants, New York Jets, Oakland Raiders, Philadelphia Eagles, Pittsburgh Steelers, Green Bay Pakcers.

Game Time Watch and Wallet NCAA (Men's) - Texas Tech Red Raiders $49.95 This gift set features a watch with a sunray dial with UP markers and a printed logo in center. It has a fully customized dial, a polyurethane strap with stainless steel buckle, an alloy case with stainless steel case back, quartz movement, a glass crystal, and is water restistant to 3 ATM. The set also features a genuine leather tri-fold wallet. Available Colors: Florida Gators, Iowa Hawkeyes, Boise State Broncos, Kentucky Wildcats, Louisiana State Tigers, Louisville Cardinals, Missouri Tigers, Nebraska Cornhuskers, Ohio State Buckeyes, Oklahoma Sooners, Oregon Ducks, Texas Longhorns, Texas Tech Red Raiders.

Wright State Raiders Sport AnoChrome Men's Watch with Leather Band $53.64 This handsome, eye-catching watch comes with a genuine leather strap. A date calendar function plus a rotating bezel/timer circles the scratch-resistant crystal. Sport the bold, colorful, high quality NCAA Wright State Raiders logo with pride.The AnoChrome dial option increases the visual impact of any watch with a stunning radial reflection similar to that of the underside of a CD. Perceived value is increased with the AnoChrome's gem-like saturation of team color. Even the emblazoned school logo is enhanced by intertwining with AnoChome's intense luster. Just imagine a watch face this alluring surrounded by the superior quality of a timepiece.

Texas Tech Red Raiders Sport AnoChrome Men's Watch with Leather Band $53.64 This handsome, eye-catching watch comes with a genuine leather strap. A date calendar function plus a rotating bezel/timer circles the scratch-resistant crystal. Sport the bold, colorful, high quality NCAA Texas Tech Red Raiders logo with pride.The AnoChrome dial option increases the visual impact of any watch with a stunning radial reflection similar to that of the underside of a CD. Perceived value is increased with the AnoChrome's gem-like saturation of team color. Even the emblazoned school logo is enhanced by intertwining with AnoChome's intense luster. Just imagine a watch face this alluring surrounded by the superior quality of a timepiece.

Texas Tech Red Raiders Dynasty AnoChrome Men's Watch $85.91 Elegant design for the modern man who wants to show their Texas Tech Red Raiders spirit! The dial is presented in a sleek, stainless steel case and bracelet that rests fashionably yet comfortably across the wrist. Features a convenient date display, quartz accurate movement and a scratch resistant mineral crystal face.The AnoChrome dial option increases the visual impact of any watch with a stunning radial reflection similar to that of the underside of a CD. Perceived value is increased with the AnoChrome's gem-like saturation of team color. Even the emblazoned NCAA logo is enhanced by intertwining with AnoChome's intense luster. Just imagine a watch face this alluring surrounded by the superior quality of a timepiece.

Texas Tech Red Raiders Competitor AnoChrome Men's Watch with Steel Band $91.67 Showcase the hottest design in watches today! A functional rotating bezel is color-coordinated to compliment the NCAA Texas Tech Red Raiders logo. A durable, long-lasting combination nylon/leather strap, together with a date calendar, round out this best-selling timepiece.The AnoChrome dial option increases the visual impact of any watch with a stunning radial reflection similar to that of the underside of a CD. Perceived value is increased with the AnoChrome's gem-like saturation of team color. Even the emblazoned school logo is enhanced by intertwining with AnoChome's intense luster. Just imagine a watch face this alluring surrounded by the superior quality of a timepiece.

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